Eating disorders, hypothyroidism, PCOS, fertility, conception & miscarriage
You might be thinking the heading is a mouthful, but sometimes life is!
We all have a story to tell and sometimes that story defines us, sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes we share our story so that one day we can hopefully help someone else who is going through the same. So yes this is an extremely personal story; one that I feel I need to share.
On the 3rd of May 2014 we jumped for joy, I had my first ever positive pregnancy test. I was so excited, we did it – wow! We’d followed my fertility eating plan and it had worked.
I know it’s not the norm to tell too many people in the early days in case it goes wrong. I personally think I would rather people know so that I can have all the good energy vibes and, as a friend said, the support if anything happens. And boy did it…
On the 13th of June 2014 we had the most painful and horrific experience to date. We had a miscarriage. I found out the day before and left my gynaecologist’s room feeling numb, not quite understanding. I think he noticed as he kept asking ‘do you understand you are losing your baby?’ I didn’t. Last week we saw the little heartbeat, this week there was nothing – how is that possible?
I went straight from his Harley Street office to an acupuncturist. I needed to know that my body was ready to handle this, my gynaecologist said it would take two weeks to happen, I felt it would be sooner. The acupuncturist said he couldn’t save the baby and I had to explain I wasn’t there for that, there was nothing left to save. I needed to know that my energy was flowing as my body had work to do.
Once back from my acupuncture I cried a sound that brought my mum and husband running with painkillers and concerned looks. But I wasn’t in physical pain, that sound was straight from my heart breaking. The promise of my baby had just been taken away from me.
My heart was breaking and I was racking my brain to find out what I had done wrong, even though the gynaecologist had told me several times that it was the embryo’s DNA and natural selection.
I knew this was nature’s way, I wanted a healthy baby and my amazing body was miscarrying at the time when the body scans the foetus for any DNA mutation.
That night the miscarriage was well underway, and by 1 am I was in a full miscarriage labour. 6 am and I could hardly breathe – the pain from the contractions came in 5 second apart waves of knock-your-breath-away pain.
My husband was incredible, opening windows, closing windows, switching on fans, switching off fans, and opening doors, as I paced saying ‘it’s not meant to be like this, I am not meant to be bleeding, I am pregnant’. But I no longer was.
At 2 pm on Friday the 13th I passed the gestational sac. My mum was there to help and for the first time in over 13 hours the pain stopped. Well the pain in my abdomen at least.
When things like this happen there are two possibilities…
You either turn angry and downtrodden or you look at the situation and feel grateful. Grateful? Surely I have lost the plot now!
Well I am about to get all tree-huggy on you, but I am grateful! I am grateful that we work and, that with a past history of eating disorders, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), hypothyroidism and being 35-years-old, we are able to fall pregnant naturally. Grateful that my body knew what to do when something was wrong and that my body did an amazing job.
I am so grateful for all these things and a loving husband who is my rock, my amazing family – without them I wouldn’t be me – and super supportive friends who have walked this journey with me.
Let me explain why I feel such gratitude…
My journey into nutrition (and where I am today) wasn’t one of having been super healthy my whole life. No, on the contrary, it’s been a journey of self-sabotage, healing and discovery.
I am very fortunate I have a mum who has always been into health, naturopathy and nutrition, so from a young age I had a good foundation and always told my mum that I wanted to heal people.
From the age of about 18 it all went south! I ate badly, drank loads of alcohol and put on a lot of weight, and I’m sure I had insulin resistance. My periods, which had never been regular, were now really out of whack.
By 20 I was the heaviest I had been and decided to lose weight, but not in a healthy way! I developed bulimia and anorexia, exercised twice a day and lost so much weight my periods stopped for 6 months. I weighed around 45kg and I was ill. I didn’t feel or look good and was once even likened to a cartoon – big platform shoes, tiny body and a big head!
Have you heard the saying ‘your genes load the gun but your environment pulls the trigger?’ Well my genes meant I was predisposed to hypothyroidism (a family condition) and my environment – with my totally unhealthy relationship with food, over-exercising and stress & strain on my adrenal glands – pulled that trigger. My thyroid attacked itself and I developed autoimmune hypothyroidism.
It didn’t end there though, I decided to start eating again and I didn’t know when to stop and I once again put on a tremendous amount of weight. I overate and overate but I carried on exercising obsessively. Thinking back to what I put my body through – the stress of it all – I marvel at its resilience!
My parents took me to a nutritionist, which reignited a passion in me, I wanted to do what she did, I wanted to help people heal.
By the age of 27 I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, about 20kgs over weight, and only then, I finally took control. This included baby steps in changing my habits and beliefs around food, and big steps in enrolling with the Institute of Optimum Nutrition to embark on a four year study journey. This is where I discovered that mood swings and not menstruating for 90 days at a time were not ‘normal for some girls’ as one doctor had said. That it was actually totally abnormal.
I ran further tests and I was eventually given the diagnosis of PCOS. I learnt how stress and digestive well-being are major players in thyroid health and that our health begins in the colon.
Only I could make these changes, I needed to make them and I did. I lost 18kg and started menstruating every 30 to 35 days – a massive improvement.
It wasn’t easy but I haven’t looked back and I draw on my own life experience when working with my clients. Really you can tell me anything – it’s okay, I won’t judge you, I have probably done similar myself! However, I will guide you to make better choices for your health while I investigate the underlying causes of your symptoms.
Fast forward to today and yes I am grateful for so many things…
My healing journey is not over, I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be, but I have so many blessings to be grateful for. I know we will fall pregnant again and we will meet our healthy happy baby. This was just the practice run! And, in light of all my personal experiences and the many lessons I’ve learned along the way, I would absolutely love to support those of you going through any of the same, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Nourishing well wishes
Angelique
Consult your doctor or health care practitioner for any health problems, before embarking on any new health regimes, using any supplements or before making any changes in prescribed medications or food programmes.
