Eating disorders, hypothyroidism, PCOS, fertility, conception & miscarriage
You might be thinking the heading is a mouthful, but sometimes life is!
We all have a story to tell and sometimes that story defines us, sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes we share our story so that one day we can hopefully help someone else who is going through the same. So yes this is an extremely personal story; one that I feel I need to share.
On the 3rd of May 2014 we jumped for joy, I had my first ever positive pregnancy test. I was so excited, we did it – wow! We’d followed my fertility eating plan and it had worked.
I know it’s not the norm to tell too many people in the early days in case it goes wrong. I personally think I would rather people know so that I can have all the good energy vibes and, as a friend said, the support if anything happens. And boy did it…
On the 13th of June 2014 we had the most painful and horrific experience to date. We had a miscarriage. I found out the day before and left my gynaecologist’s room feeling numb, not quite understanding. I think he noticed as he kept asking ‘do you understand you are losing your baby?’ I didn’t. Last week we saw the little heartbeat, this week there was nothing – how is that possible?
I went straight from his Harley Street office to an acupuncturist. I needed to know that my body was ready to handle this, my gynaecologist said it would take two weeks to happen, I felt it would be sooner. The acupuncturist said he couldn’t save the baby and I had to explain I wasn’t there for that, there was nothing left to save. I needed to know that my energy was flowing as my body had work to do.
Once back from my acupuncture I cried a sound that brought my mum and husband running with painkillers and concerned looks. But I wasn’t in physical pain, that sound was straight from my heart breaking. The promise of my baby had just been taken away from me.
My heart was breaking and I was racking my brain to find out what I had done wrong, even though the gynaecologist had told me several times that it was the embryo’s DNA and natural selection.
I knew this was nature’s way, I wanted a healthy baby and my amazing body was miscarrying at the time when the body scans the foetus for any DNA mutation.
That night the miscarriage was well underway, and by 1 am I was in a full miscarriage labour. 6 am and I could hardly breathe – the pain from the contractions came in 5 second apart waves of knock-your-breath-away pain.
My husband was incredible, opening windows, closing windows, switching on fans, switching off fans, and opening doors, as I paced saying ‘it’s not meant to be like this, I am not meant to be bleeding, I am pregnant’. But I no longer was.
At 2 pm on Friday the 13th I passed the gestational sac. My mum was there to help and for the first time in over 13 hours the pain stopped. Well the pain in my abdomen at least.
When things like this happen there are two possibilities…
You either turn angry and downtrodden or you look at the situation and feel grateful. Grateful? Surely I have lost the plot now!
Well I am about to get all tree-huggy on you, but I am grateful! I am grateful that we work and, that with a past history of eating disorders, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), hypothyroidism and being 35-years-old, we are able to fall pregnant naturally. Grateful that my body knew what to do when something was wrong and that my body did an amazing job.
I am so grateful for all these things and a loving husband who is my rock, my amazing family – without them I wouldn’t be me – and super supportive friends who have walked this journey with me.
Let me explain why I feel such gratitude…
My journey into nutrition (and where I am today) wasn’t one of having been super healthy my whole life. No, on the contrary, it’s been a journey of self-sabotage, healing and discovery.
I am very fortunate I have a mum who has always been into health, naturopathy and nutrition, so from a young age I had a good foundation and always told my mum that I wanted to heal people.
From the age of about 18 it all went south! I ate badly, drank loads of alcohol and put on a lot of weight, and I’m sure I had insulin resistance. My periods, which had never been regular, were now really out of whack.
By 20 I was the heaviest I had been and decided to lose weight, but not in a healthy way! I developed bulimia and anorexia, exercised twice a day and lost so much weight my periods stopped for 6 months. I weighed around 45kg and I was ill. I didn’t feel or look good and was once even likened to a cartoon – big platform shoes, tiny body and a big head!
Have you heard the saying ‘your genes load the gun but your environment pulls the trigger?’ Well my genes meant I was predisposed to hypothyroidism (a family condition) and my environment – with my totally unhealthy relationship with food, over-exercising and stress & strain on my adrenal glands – pulled that trigger. My thyroid attacked itself and I developed autoimmune hypothyroidism.
It didn’t end there though, I decided to start eating again and I didn’t know when to stop and I once again put on a tremendous amount of weight. I overate and overate but I carried on exercising obsessively. Thinking back to what I put my body through – the stress of it all – I marvel at its resilience!
My parents took me to a nutritionist, which reignited a passion in me, I wanted to do what she did, I wanted to help people heal.
By the age of 27 I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, about 20kgs over weight, and only then, I finally took control. This included baby steps in changing my habits and beliefs around food, and big steps in enrolling with the Institute of Optimum Nutrition to embark on a four year study journey. This is where I discovered that mood swings and not menstruating for 90 days at a time were not ‘normal for some girls’ as one doctor had said. That it was actually totally abnormal.
I ran further tests and I was eventually given the diagnosis of PCOS. I learnt how stress and digestive well-being are major players in thyroid health and that our health begins in the colon.
Only I could make these changes, I needed to make them and I did. I lost 18kg and started menstruating every 30 to 35 days – a massive improvement.
It wasn’t easy but I haven’t looked back and I draw on my own life experience when working with my clients. Really you can tell me anything – it’s okay, I won’t judge you, I have probably done similar myself! However, I will guide you to make better choices for your health while I investigate the underlying causes of your symptoms.
Fast forward to today and yes I am grateful for so many things…
My healing journey is not over, I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be, but I have so many blessings to be grateful for. I know we will fall pregnant again and we will meet our healthy happy baby. This was just the practice run! And, in light of all my personal experiences and the many lessons I’ve learned along the way, I would absolutely love to support those of you going through any of the same, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Nourishing well wishes
Angelique
Consult your doctor or health care practitioner for any health problems, before embarking on any new health regimes, using any supplements or before making any changes in prescribed medications or food programmes.
Part of my work in clinic is to identity and address the root cause which is responsible for the symptoms a client is experiencing. The most common underlying condition I see is unbalanced hormones. Once I noticed that balancing hormones leads to the reduction of so many other symptoms, I knew I had to create a simple plan to help people understand and support their hormones.
Follow the plan
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are a brave amazing woman! I have had 3 miscarriages myself and can feel your pain. Your outlook on life and being grateful for your body are fantastic. I will try to do the same. Have a great holidays!
Dear Jen, thank you for your message and kind words. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced 3 miscarriages, do let me know if I can support you in any way. I am so pleased that you are going to focus on things to be grateful for, I know it can seem hard but once you get going there is no stopping you. Let me know how you are getting on.
Joy and light Angelique
To a wonderful daughter,
You are absolutely amazing and such an inspiration to everyone with your knowledge and experience which you dispense in such an incredible way!!
Keep up the brilliant work we love you very much.
My beautiful Mum, you are my inspiration and your passion for natural healing is what set me on this path. Thank you for being you- simply amazing! Love you very much!
Hi. Happy New Year.
Remember me. Your one time patient.
I have been following your blogs and would love us to connect.
Please call me if you can or write to me and would love to meet up.
Meantime I want to thank you for sharing your story and want to remind
you that you are a “Great Soul” and everything good will come in its good
time.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Rozmina
Hello Rozmina, how lovely to hear from you! Thank you for your message and I am so pleased that you have been following my blogs. Yes please lets connect, its best to contact me on info@angeliquepanagos.com.
Look forward to hearing from you soon.
it is really reassuring to hear such positive words from someone who is going through what I am! I could have written the same story. My miscarriage wasn’t long ago and I am still grieving for the baby I had dreamt of so clearly as I am only having my first period after. I keep trying to tell myself our baby’s soul is just waiting for a healthy body. The hardest thing I had to get over was the disappointment of others too. My sister has cancer and when we told my mum and the rest of the family there words were we are so happy we deserve good news but it wasn’t meant to be. The excitement in my husbands eyes when we found out and the sorrow in his voice when we knew our baby was gone. We are getting through it together, he is also my rock I think sometimes we forgot that our partners have also lost though it is our bodies. Thank you for your story as I try to keep pushing through and loose the weight I know I still have to it is good to know there are others like me. Would love to get in touch and share stories and positive words for each other. You are doing so well and I want you to know your words have been an inspiration to me!
X
Dear Alyson, thank you for your message and kind words. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know the first period is really hard, the disappointment, the heart ache and the confusion. And yes the disappointment that others share is both touching and at the same time sad for you. I am also sorry to hear that your sister has cancer, I wish her a speedy recovery!
I would love for you to look at your period with gratitude- your body works as it should, you are clearing out and rebalancing in order to get your womb lining ready for the little soul to return in its healthy body. Now is a the time to rest and nourish yourself, rebalance your hormones, lose weight if you need to and practice your positive visualisations.
Let me know how you are getting on and I would be happy to help and support you through this, do get in touch if you would like to come and see me.
Joy and light Angelique x
Hi Angelique – you are 20 years younger than me and am so glad that you are in a position to know how to deal with your problems. Unfortunately for me my husband could not father children – so we resorted to IVF which we did 4 times as well as other forms of donor insemmination. I had however, PCOS, a history of obesity in my genes. I developed an under active thyroid at 34.. My final IVF treatment I had when I was 36 and I ended up in intensive care fighting for my life as they had overstimulated my ovaries. I still fight with my weight and my sugar addiction.
Dear Stella,
Thank you for your message and kind words. My heart goes out to you, reading your story I can understand how hard and frustrating it all must have been for you. I am so sorry you had to experience this, that last round of IVF must have been really traumatic. I am so pleased that you pulled through! You are so brave.
How are you managing the PCOS? I know from personal experience and from all the literature that sugar and insulin spikes are a major driver and contributor to stubborn weight with PCOS plus having an underactive thyroid does not help either.
Have a look at these blogs which may help you with the sugar addiction and weight. Additionally if you’d like please join my newsletter which has additional tips, blogs and recipes.
https://angeliquepanagos.com/newsletter/
Blogs
https://angeliquepanagos.com/healthy-kitchen-cupboard-spring-clean/
https://angeliquepanagos.com/finding-blood-sugar-balance/
https://angeliquepanagos.com/can-eat-sugar-still-healthy/
https://angeliquepanagos.com/symptoms-treatment-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/
Let me know how you are getting on and I would be happy to help and support you through this, do get in touch if you would like to come and see me.
Yours in health, Angelique
Your story is powerful and illustrates the resilience of the human spirit.my daughter aged 4 years drowned on 17th feb1972 accidentally. My mum was looking after my children while I was working when the accident happened.it was an extremely sad time for our families and friends.i am only now able to talk about the whole tragedy as I bottled it up for many years.i would like to ask you if there are foods which would be healthy for myself as I have been diagnosed with periferal vascular disease.i have arthritis and hypothyroidism.many thanks.
Dear Mary,
Thank you for your message. I am so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how hard that must have been and still is for you and your family & friends. I am pleased that you have found the strength to to be able to talk about it now, it could not have been easy.
Eating a balanced diet rich in vegetables and good sources of lean protein and healthy fats would be beneficial. Avoid hydrogenated oils because they contain trans fats, and avoid added processed sugar & refined carbohydrates.
I have an underactive thyroid as well, I am about to post a blog on it so please check back later or sign up to my newsletter to find out when its live https://angeliquepanagos.com/newsletter
If you would like to see me for a consultation to work out a personalised programme please email.
Do let me know how you are getting on please and once again I am so sorry for your loss and I admire your strength.
Joy & Light
Angelique
Such a touching story, brought a tear to my eye. I can relate to so many things you have mentioned in your story. Its only the last couple of years that i have managed to turn my life around and have a healthier body. I’ve lost 2st…a big achievement for me. I take one day at a time, trying to be a good role model for my family. Now im learning to drink so much more water and eating food that doesnt contain loads of sugar.
Dear Sam,
Thank you for your message, its amazing how we can relate to a journey. I am so pleased to hear that you have managed to turn your life around and well done on the 2st weight loss!
I love that your goal is to be a good role model for your family – I am sure that you are and that the ripple effect is taking place.
Thank you for sharing and please let me know how you are getting on.
Joy & light
Angelique
Hi
I’m recovering from an eating disorder at the moment and at my lowest point weighed under 5 stone I’ve put on 11/2 stone since but my periods have still not come back and I desperately want to have a baby what is your fertility eating plan and could it work for me or what would you suggest
Hello Louise,
I know how hard it can be and thank you for sharing. I am so pleased that you are recovering from the eating disorder! We need to get you menstruating again, we are all biochemically individual and we need to workout what your body needs personally. To have a baby is a lovely goal, I would be happy to work with you if you wanted to please email us to set up a consultation. I look forward to meeting you soon.
https://angeliquepanagos.com/contact-us
Joy & light
Angelique
Dear Angelique,
We met a few years ago and I have never forgotten you, your warmth your honesty, your resilience. You connect to and touch people in a very special way, as you did with me. Even in your pain and dark moments you are able to shine a beacon of light to so many. You share your grief and saddness and in doing so, we realise and re-connect to our own pain, our losses and vulnerability. In this fast pace of life we sometimes lose connection with our deepest needs and that which makes us human.
Thank you for your love, your humanity and for reaching out to share a very special part of yourself with us.
I wish you happiness,inner peace and so much more…
Maria Constantinou
(psychotherapist)
Dear Maria,
We haven’t seen each other in ages, seeing your name has brought back lovely memories of meeting for tea in Muriels Kitchen.
Thank you so much for your beautiful words and support, I am truly grateful.
I hope all is really well with you.
Thank you again for taking the time to write such a lovely message.
Love and light
Angelique x